A few years ago, I was introduced to a new concept which transformed my teaching practices. As a first-year teacher, I was thrown into a challenging classroom with a few particularly defiant students. After asking for advice from fellow teachers, principals, and support staff, a psychologist with a background in trauma-sensitivity met with me. She explained to me that she believed that my students’ defiance stems from trauma.
When thinking of the word “trauma” many things come to my mind, such as coming from a war-torn country, being bullied, or witnessing a traumatic event at home. Students who have been exposed to trauma demonstrate behaviour that is similar to those of students who are misbehaving. This includes having trouble building connections, emotional disconnection, and behavioural issues. These students don’t see a point of learning, have difficulty regulating their emotions, and have trouble grasping new information as they are stuck reliving the past.
When analyzing the different types of stress it is important to note that there is positive stress, tolerable stress, and toxic stress. Toxic stress is constant for people with trauma, causing hypervigilance, responding as if the world is a source of constant danger, and making it hard for them to be available for learning. The brain’s response to toxic stress may lead to “amygdala hijack”. The amygdala, an almond-shaped part of the brain, plays a key role in managing emotions. Stress attacks the amygdala, causing a fight or flight stress response. When this occurs, individuals may become anxious and struggle with decision-making and controlling their emotional responses.
The pandemic is an added stressor for children, which may explain why a child is misbehaving at home. I use the following strategies in my classroom to make my students feel more connected and calm.
1. Build Resilience
Resilience is not something that you are born with, it is something that you build. Actively teaching lessons on hope, encouraging a growth mindset in the classroom, and making positive statements about a student’s performance build a resilient classroom. While some people are more resilient than others, learning to be resilient can be accomplished. Resilience and mental wellness go hand-in-hand. Developing confidence, learning how to problem-solve, and working towards achieving a goal are strategies that build resilience. While not everyone has a supportive community at home, role models such as teachers, camp counsellors, and friends can help support children’s resilience.
2. Naming feelings
Teaching kids to name their emotions allows them to express how they are feeling, for example, understanding the difference between being angry versus feeling disappointed. Correctly naming emotions allows kids to feel heard and allows for other individuals to better understand and help. During our morning meeting community circle, I would lead a daily check-in, where I would social skills and model describing how one feels. Modelling naming emotions, as well as helping provide options of words will help kids understand and select the emotion that they are feeling. If your students are showing signs of frustration during this pandemic, help them name their feelings. Are they feeling anxious, upset, or bored? This will allow them to better monitor their feelings and name their emotions.
3. Stay calm
The brain’s reaction to another behaviour is identified as “mirror neurons”, which means that our neurons naturally imitate someone else’s behaviour. This means that if I am yelling at someone to manage conflict, it will encourage the person I am talking to, to yell as well. Although, if I am using a softer tone voice when speaking to someone, it will eventually encourage them to also speak in a soft tone voice. Therefore, speaking calmy is ideal. Speaking calmly to students can help reduce their stress levels. Simply saying someone’s name releases endorphins and makes them feel calmer When you say someone’s name, they feel noticed, heard, and more present.
4. Model healthy coping strategies
Model healthy coping strategies, demonstrating the behaviour that you want the child to adopt. This could be apologizing after an argument or taking the time to reflect after you make a mistake. Mindfulness is a great coping strategy to help all individuals decompress. In my classroom, we worked on talking through conflict and incorporating meditation practices during our morning meetings. As well as providing seating choices and quiet corners in the classroom allow for students to be aware of their feelings and have an environment that supports their self-regulation needs.
5. Be flexible
Giving students choice in the classroom allows them to decide what feels right based on how they are feeling and not feel constrained. Flexibility can minimize pressure and reduce stress. For example, instead of saying “you need to do your online math homework right now”, allow for choice. “You need to do math, English, and dance. You need to accomplish them today, so pick the order that you will use”. Additionally, allowing for choice in seating, for the methods of presentation and passion projects. Flexibility in teaching practices will allow for students to feel comfortable, accepted and motivated by what drives them.
6. Use attachment language
“Attachment” is the emotional bond created between a child and their parents or between partners in a relationship to develop a sense of security (Bowlby, 1969). Language shapes attachment by ensuring that individuals feel like they are part of a greater collective group, feeling supported, encouraged, and needed. A key aspect of attachment language is changing “I” language to “we” language. For example, instead of “you will get through this”, say “we are a team, we will overcome this together”. Using “we” language allows children to feel like they are more connected as a part of a group. Healthy attachment creates a supportive relationship. The language used in a supportive relationship is one that encourages the other individual, actively listens, and provides a sincere response. Active listening can be accomplished by listening rather than waiting for one’s turn to speak, and responding through paraphrasing one’s words when responding to a conversation.
7. Avoid Anger
As previously mentioned, to activate mirror neurons, we want to avoid anger and model being calm. This means speaking in a low voice, taking diaphragmatic breaths, and watching tone of voice. Never force eye contact or talk too much. The best processing occurs in silence. While we cannot control what’s going on in our day-to-day, we can control our reactions to different situations.
We are going through a stressful time right now. While it might be stressful to put up with backtalk, anger, and lack of motivation for schoolwork —it is important to realize that this is a highly stressful time. As a teacher who has worked with students who have gone through severe trauma, I know that these techniques work wonders. Take a breath, lower your voice, and model good coping strategies. We will all get through this together.